Two Turntables and A Microphone

  • The Silence is Deafening

      It’s been almost one year since I publicly outed my childhood abuser. Her name is Clare Hreshcak and she is my mother. There are no preparation guides to outing one’s abuser and little knowledge as to what a victim of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse should expect as a response to such a striking declaration. To make my own situation more complicated, my abuser happens to be a woman and society just can’t handle this type of retardation of nature. (Or is that nurture?)  In the animal kingdom, certain animals are sometimes known to kill and eat their own offspring but this process is justified as a means to an end- survival … [Continue Reading]

    The Silence is Deafening
  • The Musical That Lives in the Mouth of the Monongahela River

    "Wake up sweetheart, it's Christmas morning, your dad is going to jail." - Sergeant. My father and I are living in our home town, a small steel-mill town outside of Pittsburgh that boomed back in the early 60's but dissolved into a poor hole in the earth where one can't shop for clothes, but can purchase any drug of choice and attend church on Sunday. At one time in history, our town was referred to as "little Chicago" until the destruction of the manufacturing industry leveled this place and sucked the marrow out of the bones of the hard working people who lived here. Our tiny, one-bedroom apartment bucked up against the banks of … [Continue Reading]

    The Musical That Lives in the Mouth of the Monongahela River
  • I explore the ocean for one of Christa McAuliffe’s strands.

    Here, tourists sift sand between toes, not knowing salt makes straw of hair. I’ve always embraced this place though, minus mother’s madness. I lived in a town where I could step out of my house, look up to the sky, and watch rockets launch into space. I don’t know for what more a child full of wonderment could ask. I was in second grade in 1986. All the children were excited not only because we were gearing up to watch the Challenger pierce the sky but because, for weeks prior, we learned about Christa McAuliffe. She was a school teacher. My mother is a school teacher! She was exceptional; went on to receive a Master’s Degree in education. … [Continue Reading]

    I explore the ocean for one of Christa McAuliffe’s strands.
  • The Trials of a Drug Trial: Special K

    No, not the supposed waist-slimming breakfast cereal. I’m talkin’ Ketamine. Kit Kat. K-hole. In 2012, I volunteered to participate in an inpatient drug trial at NIMH in which they were testing the effects of Ketamine on patients who suffer chronic depression.  NPR aired a segment about the hopeful, ground-breaking research. It was an enticing proposition at the time: I had 8+ years of psychotropic pill-popping under my belt, without any positive results. No, I’m not psychotic, I have Complex PTSD. My time there was spent with ten other marvelous albeit tormented patients, all looking to end the suffering. Here’s what I know: only one person … [Continue Reading]

    The Trials of a Drug Trial: Special K
  • The “Vicious” Obituary

    I've been waiting for an appropriate "first" Calamity Rae blog post to set this space off.  Yesterday, less than 24 hours after this blog went live,  this story dropped in my lap. Or more apt, Marianne Theresa-Johnson Reddick, dropped dead. The story, first run by channel 4 in Reno, (an NBC affiliate), has gone semi-viral.  What's the problem? "The Reno Gazette Journal President & Publisher John Maher tells News 4 the obituary was sent in via a self-service online submission. The obituary appeared in the print edition of the newspaper today, September 10th. The on-line version of the obituary has been removed as the newspaper is … [Continue Reading]

    The “Vicious” Obituary

The Silence is Deafening

Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes!

  It’s been almost one year since I publicly outed my childhood abuser. Her name is Clare Hreshcak and she is my mother. There are no preparation guides to outing one’s abuser and little knowledge as to what a victim of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse should expect as a response to such a striking […]

The Musical That Lives in the Mouth of the Monongahela River

Monessen02

“Wake up sweetheart, it’s Christmas morning, your dad is going to jail.” – Sergeant. My father and I are living in our home town, a small steel-mill town outside of Pittsburgh that boomed back in the early 60′s but dissolved into a poor hole in the earth where one can’t shop for clothes, but can […]

I explore the ocean for one of Christa McAuliffe’s strands.

Challenger

photo credit: Wikimedia

Here, tourists sift sand between toes, not knowing salt makes straw of hair. I’ve always embraced this place though, minus mother’s madness. I lived in a town where I could step out of my house, look up to the sky, and watch rockets launch into space. I don’t know for what more a child full […]

The Trials of a Drug Trial: Special K

Photo courtesy of dancecafe.org

No, not the supposed waist-slimming breakfast cereal. I’m talkin’ Ketamine. Kit Kat. K-hole. In 2012, I volunteered to participate in an inpatient drug trial at NIMH in which they were testing the effects of Ketamine on patients who suffer chronic depression.  NPR aired a segment about the hopeful, ground-breaking research. It was an enticing proposition […]